I treat and respect all people with my solid course of
action, mind over matter, if they’re not likewise, I don’t mind & they
don’t matter.
I pay my indelible gratitude to all the people that I
have been in contact with, past and present, friends and families, regardless
of their academic standing or status, who and what they are. As a result, I have
gained a great deal of knowledge and extensive experiences dealing with the
downtrodden and my intentions are not to use over anyone, but to share it with
everyone.
We all want to see ourselves being successful in
everything we do. However, we’ve to be ready to walk thru the rough roads that
take us to success. Reaching the heights of success needs hard work,
determination, willingness to change and keep on going.
When we see people who are at the top of their
achievements, we only see their success. What we often forgot to see are the
efforts they put in, the disappointments they faced and those hard moments when
they felt like giving up. No matter how bumpy the road I’ve travelled was, I
never gave up. I kept on walking thru that rough path even though I fell so
many times. At times I was tired and exhausted, but I didn’t give up on my
dreams. I was left alone but found my own company, when no one comforted me,
never doubted myself when no one encouraged me.
Therefore, no matter how rough the road might seem,
believe in yourself as I’ve and have faith in your hunches as I did. Keep
walking with patience and trust as I’ve done, you’ll eventually get there.
I know some experiences had made me so delirious and negative but generally made me combat so many things that I didn’t like about me. I came to a
point where I questioned my despair. What’s the point of being miserable if
someone less fortunate, with no arms legs, eyesight, deaf…., than me can find
joy? I noticed I go thru life wanting to be recognized, accepted, trying to
please others and wanting to be someone. Finally, I discovered this is an
ongoing pain that I’m fighting within myself having the desire to be liked,
loved. It’s a rejection I’ve experienced for so long and I’ve not yet forgiven.
I’ve realized if I’m not happy with who I’m and what I’ve got; having everything
won’t make me happy. After looking at the people with no arms and legs unable
to do anything but radiating pleasures of life on the streets, I ask myself,
they’ve got nothing, where does that joy come from?
It has been a long time trying to find my lost soul, not
knowing it has implicitly lived within me quietly for so long. I wasn’t the
real person of the real identity everyone would think I ought to be. However, I
have lived and felt, I must admit, like nobody without modestly revealing my
true identity. Nevertheless, at the time, I was accepted in the society
consequently and I have enjoyed the new hype being in the limelight by acting so
immensely.
I created my false self with no intention of staying that
way for so long and I never wanted to be somebody else. Sometimes circumstances
force us to succumb to live up to the pressures of social conditions and that
of ourselves livelihood. It all started in the late 70’s, after I left my country,
when overseas people couldn’t say my name: Simeneh, so they started calling me Simon: ‘Simon Templar’. They associated my gathering pleasing personality with the
timely star of the 60’s movie ‘Simon Templar’, a spy thriller television series
known as ‘The Saint’. They gave me their preferences and I went along to fit
in, gain status, the prospect of maybe better jobs and all the benefits of
superficial social promotion in all the foreign countries I’ve travelled to.
However, I was nothing like The Saint or the actor, just a coincidence of
popularity of the sitcom & comic actor’s name at the period of showing
movie.
I was and am always proud of who and what I was and where
I came from till, I was faced with the probability and dilemma of trading my
true identity for the purpose of social
classification and other privileges to camouflage myself as a defense mechanism
to survive, thrive and be alive exploiting all the superficial approaches.
Finally, as I got older and wiser, I realized that there
was quite a gap between who I really was and my identity that I’ve presented to
the world. I would like to unravel further this chapter of my life by telling
you the evolving of my true story.
It all started when I wanted to be able to gain
everything that I’ve ever wanted by living two different lives. Growing up, I
had no cultural guidance to be myself with everything I did, be confident and
open. It was never too late to try to spend less time to be a different person
and used more time to be proud of who I’m. I no longer wanted to be trapped by the
superficial self-characterization. I realized in an instant that I had
distanced myself from my innate intelligence. I closed my eyes and put all of
my attentions on it. I started to admit who I’d been, what I’d been hiding, why
I’d been doing so and how unhappy I was. I began to surrender some aspects of
myself to a greater mind. I then reminded myself of who I no longer wanted to
be. I decided how I no longer wanted to live based on that different personality. I
observed my unconscious behaviors, thoughts and feelings that reinforced my
old beliefs and reviewed them until they became familiar to me. I thought about
who I did want to be by reclaiming a new habit that will form my new
personality.
Therefore, I retreated from my current lifestyles for
some time. My friends and known ones thought I was losing my mind. In fact, I
was losing my old mind, the way they never expected, in order to have a new
mind with new habits. I was no longer living an ideal the world wanted, but one
for myself. I didn’t want to see anyone again until I transformed myself and
living every step of my examples that I was preaching. I needed to take timeout
to make a true human revolution in my life and wanted to have joy from within
and not from outside of me. It’s not as easy as it sounds having the same old
friends and habits around and trying to assert a complete personal change.
Although my transformation wasn’t immediate, I wasn’t
perturbed and feared anything that was happening around me during my long but
steady journey toward a new personal change. I made some necessary changes to
commit myself to exercises everyday carefully observing at my unwanted emotions
one by one and I began abandoning and undoing every habit I’ve practiced along
the way. I also made a gigantic decision to become vegetarian, absolutely
restrained myself from drinking and as a result evaded seeing my friends
indefinitely without prior notice and engaging in any alcohol inducing social
get-togethers. I started meditative processes of unlearning my old habits and
creating new ones by intentionally breaking the old habits and dismantling my
old identity. That’s when I began to feel joyful soon after. I became at peace
with myself and turn out to be happier after realizing & maintaining my
predicament is nothing to do with anyone or anything outside of me.
Today, I make time to meditate and do yoga every morning to sustain my new habits, stay focused on my everyday exercises of gym workouts, playing tennis, cycling, walking with our dog, state of just being and never to fall backward, again.
Honestly, it has all been a self-help advantage with
least possible acceptance and I have no regrets about my past witty or pity
actions because I was young and on my journey of social and lifetime discovery.
I have seen, grown up and lived in a society where one ethnic group had to
change their names in order to belong to certain groups having no power to
change the system and resorting to endure dominations. The stake was so high
and the availability of opportunities which would have been otherwise with
one’s birthright name if differing from the opposite ruling groups. Having seen
and lived through all these social inequalities in my own country and
regressing in my distant memory back in my days, obviously, had an effect on my
ongoing lifestyle.
Like all kids, I grew
up fancying and envying of some other kids’ names from different ethnic
backgrounds when I was in school not because of whatever was going on, little
did I know, but because their names sounded cute and good different.
Like every parent, my
loving parents have given me the name exclusively associated with their
elation, love and belonging not knowing the future consequences that the name
will remain my authentic identity plate for life.
However, this change of names phenomenon is epidemic, and I finally came to know and recognize some derogatory incidents behind it. Most people change their birthright names for all sorts of reasons primarily for acceptance, to fit in, self-gratifications, enculturation, personal preferences and to name a few. Although, I’ve grown up in the Amhara racial background, totally enculturated, I lost the Oromo language I was born to and grew up with after I moved to the city and starting school where everything was taught in Amharic (the national language of the ruling elites). Like everyone else who has experienced this same scenario, my racial upbringing is an Ethiopian Oromo like all regional states within the country, Texas is in the USA.
Apart from my own
back home experiences of name changing predicament, I came to know the
widespread manifestations how few people around the world have also altered
their birthright names. Also, in case you didn’t know, the following people, among
many more, have changed their original names: Reginald Dwight to Elton
John, Katheryn Hudson to Katy Perry, John Stephens to John Legend, Maurice
Micklewhite to Michael Caine, Jennifer Anastassakis to Aniston, Destiny to
Miley Cyrus and to name a few.
Even though there is
no guarantee that once kids grow up, they will keep their parental names and
beliefs forever. My honest opinion to prospective parents would be, to be
cautious before naming their kids regardless of their cultural or religious
background. Parents should reflect thoughtfully that just because they like the
sound of the name must not be a vital reason to name their kids.
Well, regardless of what will happen in the future with
my real name, reaching the peak of my acumen, despite people not liking it,
having difficulty to say it or facing fewer opportunities in the future, it is time for change.
What started as a fitting in a wonder built up over years and became my new
personality, self-image and identity that I have experienced more or less most
of the time needs to change now. Somehow, I didn’t experience my false self all
the time, because, thankfully, sometimes I was in touch with my true self, and
those experiences, which I tend to think of as peak experiences, served to
remind me of who I really was. I sometimes introduce myself with my real Ethiopian
name and at times with my false Anglo-Saxon name.
The new status experiences of false Anglo-Saxon name grew kindly. Like I
said, partly because of my name Simon association with the 60’s TV series movie ‘Simon Templar’, known as ‘The Saint’, starring Roger Moore (check it on
YouTube).
Interestingly, everyone started calling me just that
(Simon) in Athens, Greece, my first destination when I left my country,
Ethiopia, and the rest is, like they say, history.
SIMON IN ATHENS, 1977
That was then; now my conscience, self-realization and
adult life transformation (age of wisdom) won’t allow me to continue doing what
I’ve always done. Three decades later I started to wonder and asked myself what
has happened to my real birth right name.
I started to feel uncomfortable to introduce myself, with
my Anglo-Saxon name, as ‘Simon’ to everyone I met. I also noticed how everyone
rolled their eyes refuting it didn’t sound like my authentic Ethiopian given
name.
When I saw my false self’s treatment by others, I realised that was how I
actually treated myself and it became apparent to me how my troubles began.
I remember, when I was back home in Ethiopia, as I’ve
explained earlier, a lot of people of different ethnic groups changed their names
in order to get equal opportunities to survive and endure all the frailties of
racial differences. So, I wasn’t surprised to do the same thing in an
absolutely foreign country & culture to survive, thrive and stay alive as I
have subconsciously inherited those mortifications and immoralities like
everyone else.
Having done that, up and about till early 90’sand 2000; I became so popular
with my new Anglo-Saxon name among friends, workmates, girls and almost
everyone I met in general as my easy-going and crowd-pleasing nature also
attracted full attention. Every introduction started with a joke of the game Simon says… a fun and challenging game
that helps in exercising listening skills. I also had no trouble finding jobs,
meeting lasses and making friends by fitting into the culture. No wonder I kept
the name for so long. Yes, feels like, “It may seem a good idea at the time”.
We all have our own ways of perceiving things
differently. The desire of our hearts, expressed in our own unique ways, always
embody essential qualities such as freedom, justice, peace, love and happiness.
We are all seeking wholeness, divinity and enlightenment
because those are the aspects of our soul’s nature. The true self, the feeling,
is whole and divine.
As I have conscientiously started to experience those
important aspects of my true self, I was on the way to discovering and feeling
a sense of who I was (am), why I was (am) here and where I was (am) going. This
is more exciting, to me, and an important quest of finding myself than anything
else I can dream of.
Moreover, if I’m not living the truth, I deny myself the
pleasure of an authentic life. Authenticity allows me to drop my habits or/and
masks to please everyone and be who I really was (am). Not everyone will like
this, but it’s better to be liked for who I really am than loved for whom I’m
not. How many people, including you, really know you? Many don’t give
themselves a chance, as if they are a bad date they never want to see again
because they have no fashion sense.
At the start, I kept regressing back to my old habits,
but in time I got better by withdrawing myself temporarily, from friends and
activities previously considered favorites,
social interactions, for self-actualization at least until I get used to
everything, in order to avoid all my old habits. When I know there are other
ways of thinking and living that resonate with what my spirit wants not my ego;
it’s impossible to live by the status quo, especially, if my conscience scale
is getting high. By setting strong positive affirmations and insights daily, I
had no choice left but to struggle to overpower my demons, not to surrender to
the unhealthy, superficial attitudes of our society’s obsession by status,
crowd pleaser ideals and empower myself to stick to my core principles that
will suit my personalities in helping me to be myself and live peacefully
without being swayed by transient worldly conundrums.
In order to live a life full of great relationships with
my wonderful partner, my family, friends and everyone, perfect health, of
course my conscience and success in all my endeavors, I needed to find my
equilibrium. It is also imperative to strengthen my connection to all aspects
of my true self. And it is simple; all I need is the courage to face the truth.
Believing that only the truth can set me free, honestly riding that rocket ship
into my inner space is the only way to reveal the wonder and beauty of who I was
(am). When I rise above my experiences and beliefs and take responsibility for
having created my current life’s situations, not blaming someone or something
else, I am ready to find the true self and heal. I am already feeling better
having the courage, to face the music now, by opening up the door for others
with the same fate addressing my bumpy rides of experiences so far.
Therefore, I made up my mind to find the real me and use
my birthright name without hesitation.
The identity I have inherited did not fit with my
heritage, values, persona, beliefs and what I preach. So, it is time for me to
practice everything I was (am) preaching – being authentic self and truthful.
I can’t tell you how relieved and comfortable I am since
I have found me and started introducing my old soul, but new me to everyone I
met. Therefore, I want everyone to know that from today on ward, only my
correct name or birthright name, Simeneh
must be used.
Marcus Garvey, a
Jamaican born Black Nationalist and leader of the Pan-Africanism movement,
which sought to unify and connect people of African descent worldwide said, “A
people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like
a tree without roots”.
I stopped trying to be accepted, fit into people’s
penchants and found my woke, grit and resilience to accept myself principally.
Seriously, if everyone can say Schwarzenegger, certainly,
they can “Say my name”, hey, sing it, correctly with little trouble. Simeneh,
Simeneh, Simeneh… Whatever happens, I absolutely won’t be back! Please, try
saying it now!
For those who still use “Simon” to call me for whatever
the reason on their mind, I say to them, give it up, try it up & live it up. But if you didn't know the changes or wanna create conversations, welcome to say it.
Recently, a true anecdote, I introduced myself to someone
with my real name and after his first attempt; he said to me, do you mind if I
call you Sam? I just laughed my head
off to tears and explained the story to him. That's right, not again! And I said to him, it's ok if you can’t say or remember it, but don’t call me Sam.
Explaining to him, that’s how this whole enigma of my name change started in
the first place.
So, having read who I was, who I’m now, and the
challenges I’ve been through in making personal transformations, it’s time to
reassess where your own life’s blueprint stands and move yourself to a new
consciousness site. You probably may have done something similar in your life’s
journey thus far. You must become very clear about what you’re doing, how
you’re thinking, how you’re living, how you’re feeling and how you’re being… to
the point that it isn’t you and you don’t want to be it any longer.
First and foremost, to my families back home in Ethiopia
and in Australia who stood by my made-up name over the years, I thank you for
your patience and understanding. You knew I have never meant to be someone
else. It’s all been nothing, but fun filled appeal, above all self-gratification
to survive & thrive in the life dominated by status, the rich and famous
society where respect and appreciation is prejudiced by the who is who culture.
Like everyone else, I just wanted to live without being judged by my name, color
of my skin, race, nationality or status anymore. Despite my quest to fit in,
for self-fulfillment, for pursuit of happiness, and for the inconveniences and
painful conditions I have inflicted upon everyone in their daily lives by
imitating me, I say to them, from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry.
To all my friends in Europe, where it all initiated as a
joke and in America where I only used it scarcely, you must know that it has
all been nothing but fun, part of growing up, naïveté, reflection of happy
times and all of the above sermons; however, if you have been disappointed in
my actions to change my name, I am truly sorry.
To all my friends in Australia, my community members and
all other friends who knew me for what & who I was and where I came from,
if you were disappointed, I say to you with all my heart, I am sorry.
Above all, we all have to take responsibility for our own
actions, although, people in general look up to a role model for good
aspirations. As far as I know, I made tremendous contributions to take the center stage to show how to have a good time
amid all the daily worries we were facing seeking equal opportunities and adjusting
to the mainstream society. I, somehow, inadvertently may have set a bad example
in my social interactions and some of my actions may have impacted on some of
my friends and colleagues, more or less in good terms, directly or indirectly changing,
attempting or anticipated changing their names and lives at one time or
another. I can’t express enough that I am really sorry if you’ve assumed so.
I also counsel all my African, Asian and other compatriots who renounce their birthright names in order to gain all the benefits mentioned in here, try to be united in refusing to forsake your names for whatever reason as they (the Westerners and Europeans) wouldn’t change their names with African, Asian or other nation’s names. Therefore, educate yourselves, teach others, never to alter your culture’s names and follow stereotype lifestyles.
IT’S
MY INDELIBLE HOPE THAT AFRICANS & ALL OTHERS RECLAIM THEIR BIRTHRIGHT NAMES
It also sounds and looks very odd to see most Africans,
Asians and other nationalities with English or Anglo-Saxon names, but we never
see other Westerners or Europeans with African, Asian or other nation’s names.
All the reasons, well at least some, are plainly
explained in my personal life experiences why my name change was circumstantial
back then and vastly accepted. It is an unbelievably an eye rolling narrative
today, if your name doesn’t match your racial heritage.
Even some similar racial background individuals are
communicating with foreign languages, making it challenging to understand for
some and hard to exactly express their true feelings and intentions correctly,
let alone in their own lingos. It’s an unfortunate that I don’t anticipate to
exclude myself from this dilemma and sympathize with those who genuinely argue
that they find it easier to speak and write in English, or any other language
they feel comfortable with, not as bigheadedness or yearning for self-pride
(excuse my language), as some might think, but their mother tongue has slowly
slipped away as they gradually got enculturated.
My strong point here is, first and foremost, we should
always try our best to communicate, express our intentions and deliberations in
the languages we’re born with without feeling obligated, embarrassed,
self-conscious or inadequate and proceed to the second best languages we find
easier to explain our deliberations. No one should be pressured to express or
write in other languages that are foreign to them.
Remember, English is a language like any other but not an
ability or knowledge and should not to be used as a measure of one’s
intelligence.
When Obama was told by his white surroundings during the
election to use an English name called “Barry”, he refused, and let it be known
that he is proud of his birthright heritage and refused to sell out to please
anyone or gain status. He also goes to say, at his presidential candidacy
dinner, “Many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you
may not know, Barack is actually Swahili for ‘That One’”. The point he was
making here was also a rebuttal that his counterpart, former contender, John
McCain, called him ‘That One’ during their presidential rally speech. He continued,
“And I got my middle name, Hussein, from somebody who obviously didn’t think
I’d ever run for president.”
If it is the name that
matters, the Arabs and white people would have used the names of Africans when
they first came in contact with Africans during their expeditions and
explorations days.
That was then; it’s time for collective consciousness to
take its course which will allow us to see everyone as one entity irrespective
of their names and the languages they speak or use and stop pressuring anyone
to change either.
Every day, I see and recognize that our own beliefs,
attitudes and deliberations about life play as big a part in the creation of
our collective consciousness as anyone else’s. We all are part of that journey.
“A mind stretched to a new idea never shrinks back to its
original dimensions.” –Oliver Wendell Holmes
My final word to all my fellow brothers, sisters, sons
and daughters in the diaspora, what may seem a good idea and fun, changing your
names can be a complicated and deceitful manner on your long journey in life by
concealing your authenticity. I say to you, forget whatever you’ve called
yourselves in the past or now, realize all the morals, review all your options
to live a real life and stay with your true identity, heritage, values and
birthright name or forename that matches not only your persona, most
importantly, your true origin as a whole.
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