The Story of Virgin Mary & Partner Joseph, Father of Jesus

The so called and revered souls, Mary and Joseph, are the parents of named, Christ, Jesus; well, at least on Earth. Still, they are iconic religious figures that many of us don’t really know much about. Sure, Mary was branded a virgin when she became pregnant with Jesus, how on earth, and we know that Joseph accepted to be father, didn’t know what happened, in the end. But what are the other key moments in the relationship between Joseph and Mary, anyway? And what and how much do we know about them as individuals? How do they know their relationship was in the early stages, when & how Mary got pregnant?

Jewish relationships and, consequently, marriages are said essentially divided into two stages: Kiddush in (engagement) and Nisu’in (marriage ceremony). Of course, there are more layers of complexity to these stages. But essentially, a couple is married in the eyes of God in the Kiddush in stage. But cohabitation and intimate relationships are not part of this stage.

While nowadays many couples combine Kiddush in and Nisu’in rituals into one ceremony, back then the first stage would take a lot longer. The couple would read religious texts to prepare for life as husband and wife. However, all of a sudden Mary was pregnant!

They almost broke up, as in old marriages, religiously or not, it goes without saying that virginity was not only desirable, but expected. Divine intervention aside, all of a sudden showing up pregnant wasn’t quite what Joseph was expecting of Mary. How is that happened? In the book of Matthew 1:19 it reads: “Because Joseph, her husband, was faithful to the law and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.”

This course of action was actually pretty kind, more on that later. But he didn’t in the end, as he was visited by, another theory, angel Gabriel told him that, “She will give birth to a son and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” (Matthew 1:21) Say what? Please, explain!

As mentioned previously, Joseph’s plans to leave Mary was to avoid exposing her to public disgrace. And public disgrace it would have been for Mary, who would have probably ended up being stoned to death in the ancient days. Deuteronomy 22:21 gives an example of what would happen to a woman who would have intimate relationships out of wedlock, in this case, still living with her parents: “She shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death.”

The story goes on, King Herod, hearing the news about the Messiah, ordered for all children in Bethlehem to be killed. Luckily, an angel gave Joseph the heads up, so he and his family managed to flee to save Jesus from being killed.

It reads in Matthew 1:25 being pretty explicit about this. It reads: “But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.” Though, some people do believe that Mary never lost her virginity. The Bible does mention the brothers of Jesus, but again, some people interpret this as a form of expression, rather than in the literal sense of the word.

Many of us picture Joseph as a carpenter. This reinforces the idea of Jesus’ humble background. But what if Joseph worked more than just wood? Joseph wasn’t your average carpenter. Joseph is called a tektōn in Ancient Greek, which is the word used to describe an artisan/craftsman, not necessarily just a carpenter. If fact, according to author Adam Bradford, Joseph was actually a middle-class architect.

As Nazareth was a peculiar place, both Mary and Joseph came from Nazareth, a town that didn’t have a great rep. Even Nathanael, who went on to become a follower of Jesus, belittled it: “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” (John 1:46). But the truth is that Nazareth was indeed a unique place. Archaeological discoveries revealed that the people of Nazareth didn’t take the Roman invasion very well and were proud of their Jewish heritage and customs. Maybe this was why Mary and Joseph were chosen by God?

For a physical trait, Jesus has been depicted numerous times as having light hair and eyes, but this probably wasn’t the case. And, of course, his parents didn’t look like that either. Mary and Joseph were most likely short and had a darker complexion. Israeli Jews definitely didn’t look like Vikings. And depending on their background, if they had Egyptian or Middle Eastern ancestors, their complexion could have been even darker.

How was Jesus being delivered? Delivering a baby back then was a much higher risk event. Mary in particular was out of her comfort zone, with no midwives and no family around to support her. Joseph was the only person that could have probably helped her deliver baby Jesus. Thank you Joseph!

While the Bible does not mention the pain of Mary’s labor, the Quran does. In fact, Islam’s holy book dedicates a whole chapter to the story of Mary. Mary’s labor in the Surah Maryam Quran 19:23 reads: “And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, ‘Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten.’”

As for Mary’s wearisome, Mary is often portrayed wearing blue. There are a few theories about this and indeed Israelite women wore colored clothing. But the color blue in particular has no proven historical background. It is believed that the use of blue implies purity and closeness to God. Blue (and white) has been used in Judaism for millennia. It’s one of the colors of Hanukkah, among many other things.

There’s also a story in apocrypha writings, texts that didn’t make it to the Bible, there is a mention that Joseph might have had a first wife called Melcha before Mary. The text says that Joseph was in fact a widower who had six children. He then married a much younger Mary after his wife died and became Jesus’ dad on Earth.

Mary most likely didn't deliver Jesus in a stable place. Most houses back then had two floors, with the ground floor also being used to keep animals. So there was no such thing as a separate stable, where Mary could have had Jesus. The nativity story places baby Jesus in a stable, surrounded by animals. But this was likely not the case. And then, of course, there is the theory that Jesus was born in a cave/grotto, where the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem was built upon. These caves were commonly used as shelters by shepherds in those days.

The Christmas Mythology

Central to Christmas folklore, the tale of Jesu’s birth is celebrated annually in December from our earliest memories. This narrative depicted in nativity scenes across public venues, television specials and school performances, featuring iconic elements such as the guiding star, the three wise men and the stable’s menagerie. However, the question is, how historically faithful are these descriptions?

There are also misconceptions around the bible’s story. According to Bible historians, the popular Christmas story has a lot of misinterpretations from the original words written in the holy book of Christianity. 

The Bible doesn’t specify Jesus was born on December 25th. In fact, Bible historians think he was likely born in the spring or fall, mainly because the shepherds were watching their sheep out in the fields at nighttime (Luke 2:8), something they probably wouldn’t have been doing in the winter months.

In the same storyline Jesus was born in animal barn/stable, because there was no room for them where the in laws slept, they probably had to stay in the kitchen, so to speak, where animals were customary brought inside at night for heat and protection.

For this reason, it makes sense that there were animals in the room and the Bible only mentions that it had a manger, which is all the Bible actually says. It never mentions a stable; it only says that Mary laid baby Jesus down in a manger (a box from where horses and cattle eat), according to Luke 2:7.

The word used to describe them in the Bible by Matthew is “Magi”, which according to historians the three wise men who came to see Jesus were not kings but wise men who knew about astrology and magic.

Moreover, the Bible does not specify how many wise men “Magi” there were. The passage just says “‘magi’ from the east came to Jerusalem” (Matt. 2:1).  The idea that there were three of them comes from the fact that they brought three gifts of gold, frankincense & myrrh.

Additionally, despite being pictured in all the nativity scenes, the wise men weren’t there the day of Jesu’s birth and first arrived in Jerusalem asking: “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star and have come to worship him.” (Matt. 2:9-12)

Then, the question is, why do we celebrate it on December 25^th? Previously, December 25th (approximately the winter solstice) was the day used to celebrate the sun god, Mithras. So some historians believe that the Christian church chose this date to compete with that particular pagan holiday, according to the website The Gospel Coalition. What a hogwash tale!!

However, the tale continues, nine months after conception, most say that it seems early Christians may have reasoned from the supposed date of his conception, which was thought to be March 25, the same day of Jesus’ death, since, according to Jewish Talmudic tradition, all righteous men died on the same day they were conceived.

Then, again, form of transportation was unknown. Could they have ridden on a donkey? Maybe, as the form of transportation isn’t really specified. The passage merely says the couple “traveled from Nazareth to Bethlehem” (Luke 2:4, 5), but some historians say, given Mary’s state and the length of the journey, she might have ridden in some sort of wagon. Wow! Pregnant Mary rode to Bethlehem on a donkey?

Also, the Christmas story usually starts with pregnant Mary riding a donkey while Joseph walks alongside her for miles and miles. But while a popular scene in the story, this particular detail is not mentioned in the Bible. The landlord turned them away! The popular scene goes like this, Joseph & Mary, who is on the verge of giving birth, are cruelly turned away by the landlord who shows them no compassion. However, the Bible never mentions a landlord and there was probably not even an inn (place to stay) to begin with. So the passage isn’t saying there was no room in the inn, but rather there was no room for baby Jesus in the place where they stayed, they probably stayed in Joseph’s family home in Bethlehem since it was his hometown, according to Matthew’s gospel.

However, Matthew expresses that the wise men visited the family at their house in Egypt. The Christmas story takes place over years where Joseph and Mary fled to escape King Herod, who had ordered the killing of all babies ages 0 to 2. This is also why it likely took place at least one year after the birth, maybe even two, historians think. What an astonishing tell-tale bibliography!

What a story or theory of a different mortality that we didn’t have to worship for lifetime, but we thank everyone who helped humanity thus far & congregations for social connections.