The Story of Virgin Mary & Partner Joseph, Father of Jesus

The so called and revered souls, Mary and Joseph, are the parents of named, Christ, Jesus; well, at least on Earth. Still, they are iconic religious figures that many of us don’t really know much about. Sure, Mary was branded a virgin when she became pregnant with Jesus, how on earth, and we know that Joseph accepted to be father, didn’t know what happened, in the end. But what are the other key moments in the relationship between Joseph and Mary, anyway? And what and how much do we know about them as individuals? How do they know their relationship was in the early stages, when & how Mary got pregnant?

Jewish relationships and, consequently, marriages are said essentially divided into two stages: Kiddush in (engagement) and Nisu’in (marriage ceremony). Of course, there are more layers of complexity to these stages. But essentially, a couple is married in the eyes of God in the Kiddush in stage. But cohabitation and intimate relationships are not part of this stage.

While nowadays many couples combine Kiddush in and Nisu’in rituals into one ceremony, back then the first stage would take a lot longer. The couple would read religious texts to prepare for life as husband and wife. However, all of a sudden Mary was pregnant!

They almost broke up, as in old marriages, religiously or not, it goes without saying that virginity was not only desirable, but expected. Divine intervention aside, all of a sudden showing up pregnant wasn’t quite what Joseph was expecting of Mary. How is that happened? In the book of Matthew 1:19 it reads: “Because Joseph, her husband, was faithful to the law and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.”

This course of action was actually pretty kind, more on that later. But he didn’t in the end, as he was visited by, another theory, angel Gabriel told him that, “She will give birth to a son and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” (Matthew 1:21) Say what? Please, explain!

As mentioned previously, Joseph’s plans to leave Mary was to avoid exposing her to public disgrace. And public disgrace it would have been for Mary, who would have probably ended up being stoned to death in the ancient days. Deuteronomy 22:21 gives an example of what would happen to a woman who would have intimate relationships out of wedlock, in this case, still living with her parents: “She shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death.”

The story goes on, King Herod, hearing the news about the Messiah, ordered for all children in Bethlehem to be killed. Luckily, an angel gave Joseph the heads up, so he and his family managed to flee to save Jesus from being killed.

It reads in Matthew 1:25 being pretty explicit about this. It reads: “But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.” Though, some people do believe that Mary never lost her virginity. The Bible does mention the brothers of Jesus, but again, some people interpret this as a form of expression, rather than in the literal sense of the word.

Many of us picture Joseph as a carpenter. This reinforces the idea of Jesus’ humble background. But what if Joseph worked more than just wood? Joseph wasn’t your average carpenter. Joseph is called a tektōn in Ancient Greek, which is the word used to describe an artisan/craftsman, not necessarily just a carpenter. If fact, according to author Adam Bradford, Joseph was actually a middle-class architect.

As Nazareth was a peculiar place, both Mary and Joseph came from Nazareth, a town that didn’t have a great rep. Even Nathanael, who went on to become a follower of Jesus, belittled it: “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” (John 1:46). But the truth is that Nazareth was indeed a unique place. Archaeological discoveries revealed that the people of Nazareth didn’t take the Roman invasion very well and were proud of their Jewish heritage and customs. Maybe this was why Mary and Joseph were chosen by God?

For a physical trait, Jesus has been depicted numerous times as having light hair and eyes, but this probably wasn’t the case. And, of course, his parents didn’t look like that either. Mary and Joseph were most likely short and had a darker complexion. Israeli Jews definitely didn’t look like Vikings. And depending on their background, if they had Egyptian or Middle Eastern ancestors, their complexion could have been even darker.

How was Jesus being delivered? Delivering a baby back then was a much higher risk event. Mary in particular was out of her comfort zone, with no midwives and no family around to support her. Joseph was the only person that could have probably helped her deliver baby Jesus. Thank you Joseph!

While the Bible does not mention the pain of Mary’s labor, the Quran does. In fact, Islam’s holy book dedicates a whole chapter to the story of Mary. Mary’s labor in the Surah Maryam Quran 19:23 reads: “And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, ‘Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten.’”

As for Mary’s wearisome, Mary is often portrayed wearing blue. There are a few theories about this and indeed Israelite women wore colored clothing. But the color blue in particular has no proven historical background. It is believed that the use of blue implies purity and closeness to God. Blue (and white) has been used in Judaism for millennia. It’s one of the colors of Hanukkah, among many other things.

There’s also a story in apocrypha writings, texts that didn’t make it to the Bible, there is a mention that Joseph might have had a first wife called Melcha before Mary. The text says that Joseph was in fact a widower who had six children. He then married a much younger Mary after his wife died and became Jesus’ dad on Earth.

Mary most likely didn't deliver Jesus in a stable place. Most houses back then had two floors, with the ground floor also being used to keep animals. So there was no such thing as a separate stable, where Mary could have had Jesus. The nativity story places baby Jesus in a stable, surrounded by animals. But this was likely not the case. And then, of course, there is the theory that Jesus was born in a cave/grotto, where the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem was built upon. These caves were commonly used as shelters by shepherds in those days.

What a story or theory of a different mortality that we didn’t have to worship for lifetime, but we thank everyone who helped humanity thus far & congregations for social connections.