We Can Become Master of Our Mind

Throwing around mental health-related terms in a casual manner not only perpetuates a negative stereotype about anybody in general, let alone people with mental illness and brain injuries caused by different unfortunate circumstances, but the stigma associated with it may prevent them from seeking treatment and destined to withdraw. The sooner we all start taking mental health seriously - and treating it sensitively - the better the culture will be around mental problems.
It’s becoming so obvious now that the pressure and need to change our thoughts in order to change our lives as a collective issue is closing in on our society.  

Most of us have a public opinion about everything, from our PM’s performances, US presidential candidates, Donald Trump saga, gay marriage grapevines, diversity and refugee issues, among others. We like to think our views reflect our independent, avant-garde thinking, but we’re subtly, or sometimes not so subtly, influenced by the morals and values of others.

We like to agree with others because it’s helpful in forming and fostering social relationships. This keeps us from confronting others whom we believe to be lying or stretching the truth. We avoid confrontation because it creates an uncomfortable situation.

Research shows that these individuals are people-pleasers, some socially labelled pushovers, may be hardwired neurologically to be social conformists and avoid conflict. “This suggests sensitivity to mental stress and their discomfort is linked to an increased vulnerability to influence, potentially leading to poor decision-making, anxiety, or difficulties in interpersonal relationships.”

Studies also show that peer pressure during adolescence can lead teenagers to succumb to too much conformity, which could be dangerous to assert their independent opinions on diverse issues in the future. “Having a lot of trouble disagreeing due to heightened mental stress may be indicative of an array of emotional, attitudinal or social issues comprising an individual’s ability to make autonomous choices”, the study advises.

Sometimes agreeing to disagree is the best way to resolve a difference of opinion, without having to compromise our independence. This whole scenario will have devastating consequences on our long term mental health.

Mental illness and brain injuries are dangerously misunderstood topic with myths, prejudices and widespread lack of knowledge. No one wants to talk about it fearing isolation. Mental illness and injuries are not ‘weakness of character’. They’re mainstream issue that impact everyone in some way or another.

People from all walks of life working in all sorts of professions in industries, corporate and public sectors are affected by mental illness & injuries including their families & friends, your families & friends & mine, you and me. Mental illness doesn’t discriminate. When we realise that so many people from all walks of life affected by it, we behave worse than the illness, rather than putting more splinter in the wound, we should be more open about it and talk to each other rather than hush hushing and going around and talk about each other’s uncontainable & overwhelming behaviours, thoughts & actions, especially if the talk isn’t a positive bearing toward a proactive solution to the problem.

People with mental illness and injuries will struggle with the reality of managing their illness for the rest of their lives; somehow, they can and do get better. To be able to do this effectively, the whole society –family, friendship networks, teachers, employers, employees, landlords, etc. –has to develop awareness about mental illness and the effects of injuries.

I also believe that we should have an approved mental health check-up every year covered by either health insurances, accurately describing their gobbledygook and dubious policy statements clearly, or Medicare benefits depending on individual’s living conditions.   

We also must educate ourselves to avert our preconceptions and find ways we can genuinely contribute to their welfare and to the wellbeing of our society as a whole. No excuses are too great. We all have responsibility, especially, when there is lots of information available to us for any illnesses we can think of at the push of our finger tips. We mustn’t assume that everyone with the illness is dangerous, scary or out of control. If we know someone who has depression, we must not avoid them and assume they can’t cope. Instead, treat them as you would like to be treated.

We need to acknowledge that mental illness and all other brain injuries caused by different and unfortunate conditions , like any other illness we talk about, such as cancer, heart disease, diabetes, sport injuries, car accidents, acquired brain injuries (ABIs) and work related injuries, among others, are distressing illnesses and we can openly talk about them and deal with in a positive, life affirming and rewarding way, without condescending, harbouring hate because of the person’s relentless mood swings & unpredictable behaviours, snubbing,  avoiding and abandoning families, friends, relationships, to openly deal with issues in a compassionate and inclusive way to learn from each other by including the low-spirited folks as being part of our normal everyday existence.

I know it’s a pretty hard task to follow through but if we can’t help them, we have, at least, the choice to recommend any alternative within possible reach to remedy the condition. However, I must strongly emphasise the whole purpose of this story that when we free our egos and stop from drowning in an evil acts of our illusions of thought for untenable desires, greed, anger, power, jealousy and simple stupidity, we can become master of our mind, thereby benefitting everyone around us.

Research also shows that one in five Australians will have or already have some form of mental illness. Nobody knows who is on medication out there, who is being treated and most of all who defines normal anyway? It’s a similar scenario to a futile ambition of hopelessly waiting for Mr/Mrs right? to come from nowhere to meet us so we can “live happily ever after”.

We all have our own quirky personalities, maybe not equate to an illness but prone to qualm, some favourably and some wary or bubbly, at times. Hey, if you don’t believe me start observing your own actions mindfully –without judging yourself. We may label people with different personalities if they don’t fit our expectations but the fact is acceptance is the key to let everyone be just like us.

Our old habits can get so deeply engrained in us that they affect our body and mind at a cellular or organizational level. We sometimes experience depressive feelings not caused by anyone or environmental events that happens around us but by our own emotional reactions as a result of distorted thinking.

The most important things that each of us must learn no one can teach us. Once we accept our disappointments, we will be able to stop dependability on therapists, families and friends, who turns out to be just another struggling human beings.   

If somebody does something that you blindly react to, then the pain gets multiplied and eventually the whole world is in trouble causing arguments, wars, misery and all kinds of ailing conditions. However, if we respond to situations mindfully, the individual’s and world’s troubles will start decreasing. –Buddha

I believe no meaning that comes from outside of ourselves is real. The Buddhahood of each of us has already been obtained and we need only recognize it.

We often send our messages in the way we know how, our own way, not in the way others welcome it; nevertheless, receivers often forget the messages come with good intentions & genuine advice before filtering it in their own thoughts and react badly.

Knowledge isn’t generally the driver of behaviour. We often don’t do what we should do because of inattention, apathy, avoidance, fear, being too busy, confronting an unsupportive environment, a negative attitude or habit or routine without being labelled a pushover. 

We can be sure there are few people we meet who either have been or are being treated for mental illness or we may be going through some tough times ourselves –isn’t it great to show some emotion without making jokes at the expense of those already overpowered, low-spirited and discriminated against.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a wicked sense of humour and I, always, crack jokes at my own expense by self-deprecating, is a fine line between being funny, to defuse a difficult situation, laughing with someone for self-reputation and laughing at the expense of the shattered and troubled individual, but we’ve to draw a fine line and construct sensibly.

Of course, there is humour dealing with mental illness and injured people with no doom and gloom as everyone needs lightness and laughter to reduce the stress of daily life.

We need to breakdown stigma and stereotypes, acknowledge past mistakes in the medical malpractices to heel the illness, ensure those same errors do not get grip in the twenty-first century and encourage all of us to work together to make someone with mental illness and injuries know, they are loved, they are still themselves, they are not alone and they certainly are not ‘abnormal’.

There is an unwise old saying “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never harm me”. Whoever thought and said that (I like to think it’s an old adage) had no idea about depression, which has a huge impact on our society, the way in which the most simple words & phrases can be negatively interpreted, especially, by someone who is depressed, pervading every word, thought & feeling there by changing their ideas about themselves profoundly.

Even when we’re not ourselves, we still have enough of our personalities and awareness to deserve to be treated like the human beings we’re. Our behaviours may need containment at times but our souls don’t.

I pay my indelible gratitude to all the people that I have been in contact with, past and present, friends and families, regardless of their illnesses, who and what they are. As a result, I have gained a great deal of knowledge and extensive experiences dealing with the downtrodden and my intention is not to use over them and you, but to share it with them and you so that we all can see we have the same aspirations and desires on our life’s journey and I’m contributing my insight to empower all of us and loved ones for a safe ride.

I want this story for society to change, to challenge our own behaviours and who we are as a society and what is expected of us to live as a cohesive society and ask you to join the journey to a better and habitable lifestyle.

Eventually, we’ve to get off our bus & walk to find our own answer by experiencing it. I’ll give you the secret of happiness at the end of your reading!

Happy Ending!